Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Or Psychotherapy – Which Do You Need Now?
A qualified, licensed, and experienced psychotherapist, regardless of their identified specialty, has probably handled sexual concerns, love relationship and marriage problems, overcoming addictions, and different and sundry emotional and psychological issues. The question you might want to ask is:
How do I know which kind of therapy and which specific therapist will help me to resolve and over come my most pressing problems and concerns?
Begin by making a crude and elementary diagnosis of your problem as well as some probably causes and contributing factors. For example, in the event that you or your partner is currently having a sexual dysfunction (lack of desire, arousal problems, orgasmic difficulties), consider these basic questions:
o Has the issue started recently because of some current stressor or changing circumstances – or – has this problem been part of your relationship but is suddenly more apparent, more urgent, and more upsetting.
o Is there any such thing my partner or I can do differently that might improve or even resolve the problem?
Perhaps sexual issues aren’t the most pressing problem in your life. Maybe the sexual aspect seems to be working just fine for you, yet you or your partner did not grow up having good role models for how exactly to create a satisfying relationship. You should ask yourself these questions:
o Are my wife and i happy together most of the time?
o Do both of us add stability, pleasure, activity, intellectual stimulation, and emotional security to each other’s daily lives?
o Do we boost or lower each other’s self-esteem and sense of well being?
Maybe your sexual relationship is fine for you and your communication together with your partner is also okay, but you keep feeling that something is missing, something isn’t right or you’re just not in love. For you, the questions to ask yourself may be:
o Have I chosen to be with this person because I feel intense desire and passion or because he or she provides security and comfort for me?
o Do I want to be in a reliable, ongoing, and committed relationship or am I really wanting to be free and single and not tied right down to anyone?
o Am I being unreasonable or have I settled for under my heart’s desire?
Perhaps your trouble is not really about sexuality, love relationships, or even communication with your partner. What if your problem is caused by a chemical imbalance, chemical addiction, bouts of depression, anxiety, rage, insecurity, panic, fluctuating moods and erratic behaviors. Ask yourself these questions:
o Are my attitudes and behaviors helping me to create what I truly desire in my life or is my very own behavior causing me to sabotage my potential for attaining my dreams?
o Are my behaviors bringing me close or creating distance between myself and those I say I really like?
Once you have clarified on your own what you believe your real problem is, then your next step is to do some research into the problem. Go online and find out what the experts (sex therapists, marriage counselors, other psychotherapists, medical doctors, authors, researchers) are saying about your specific problem. Read about what non-professionals are also saying about this problem.
Now choose a few web sites that explain how a sex therapist, a marriage counselor, and a general psychotherapist might work with someone who has your type of problem. Discover what types of techniques they might utilize (e. g., Cognitive Behavioral approach, Gestalt Therapy, Hypnosis, EMDR, Imago Therapy, Somatic Body Psychotherapy).
Finally, you’re ready to focus on locating a specific kind of therapist, preferably one who has taken specialized training, has written peer reviewed articles, book chapters or successful books on the subject. Don’t just jump at the first few web sites that appear on a Google or Yahoo search for that problem area keyword. Take a careful look at those first few websites but then locate the directories of the major certifying boards for the reason that discipline. For example, for a sexual problem check out AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) or ABS (American Board of Sexology); for a relationship or marriage problem, have a look at AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy). There certainly are a host of other directories offering you the opportunity to evaluate and compare the credentials, background, training, experience, affiliations, fees, and style of therapy that might suit your specific needs.
Now you are ready to contact a few potential therapists. Notice how quickly the average person therapist responds and whether the therapist or an assistant actually contacts you. Observe whether the therapist has had adequate time to respond to your questions and concerns. Yes, finding the right therapist for your particular problem and situation can feel like a daunting task. And this task is even more difficult because you are most likely at your lowest emotional state – or you would probably not even consider seeking therapy.
If looking for the appropriate therapist feels too problematic for you to handle just when you need to talk to someone very soon, then ask someone else to help you or to actually do the study for you. There are many, many qualified therapists out there, but locating the one who can really help you with your specific problem can make all the difference.
What are you waiting for? You don’t have to take action all alone. You can solve your problems and improve your state of mind as well as your life with the right therapeutic help right now.