Is Being A Codependent The Sign Of A Bad Relationship,
Codependents are people who exhibit way too much caring for people who depend McNiff on them. While this may not look like a component of a bad relationship in the beginning, codependency leads to several unhealthy results, including the tendency to smother someone you care about with over affection or personal sacrifice to the point of martyrdom.
This is most commonly exhibited by the archetypical over protective parent, who cossets their children to the point that these kids never truly mature, and are left unable to fend for themselves when they are only. Spouses and girl/boy friends may also exhibit codependency in a lot of methods can be ultimately unhealthy. Examples may include a wife who lets the girl husband become an alcoholic plus physically abuse her, and she remains in the relationship simply because he “needs her to look after him”. If you’re wondering whether most likely a codependent, here are some of the signs you should look out for.
The first indication of codependency is completely altruistic really like and affection. While there’s nothing incorrect with loving someone, the healthiest relationships in the world are two-sided. If all you’re doing in the connection is giving and giving, and you also get nothing in return other than the “noble” feeling of being a “good” person, the odds are high that you are currently a codependent.
The second indication of codependency is the philosophy associated with “living for him/her”. While a beautiful and intimate notion, this is a mindset that, whenever taken to an extreme, is very self damaging. While in most good relationships the particular partners value each other, there is no regulation that says you should stop thinking of yourself. If you don’t think about your personal benefit at all, and even worse, if you believe of the cliche “I’ll die without him/her”, you’re most likely a codependent.
The third indication is a tendency to condone just about anything and everything your partner, child, or even parent does. This is a severe problem that causes a huge number of interpersonal problems in the world today. Children raised simply by parents who cease to self-discipline them and teach them correctly will grow up spoiled and pompous, often becoming belligerent, problematic, plus unproductive members of society afterwards. Spouses who are likewise treated in this way will often become alcoholics/drug addicts, may cheat on their wives/husbands, and misuse their family members in general.
The 4th sign is smothering. This may be the exact opposite of condoning every thing, and manifests in a blanketing more than protectiveness that makes you do almost everything for the loved one. You cook for them, thoroughly clean after them, pick up their garbage after them, and keep the rest of the “bad” universe away from them for worry that they will get hurt. This results in individuals who are unable to fend for by themselves at all in the absence of their codependent. These people cannot live on their own and can do nothing even remotely effective.
Lastly there is the perfectionist type of codependency. This manifests as extreme self-discipline and training, wanting your loved one as the “best”, all for “his/her own good”. This type of codependency often means that you have a picture in your mind of a “perfect” person, and can do anything and everything to make your loved one match that mold, no matter how unsuited she or he is to it. This leads to extremely disappointed relationships and broken homes. Children raised this way by demanding moms and dads often break under the stress plus require counseling later in life.